I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
