I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
