i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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