she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm having to shit out rocks
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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