i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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