I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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