It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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