I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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