Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
