I wish I only lived at night.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
