why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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