My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
