Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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