i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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