Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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