This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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