I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
