I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize