I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
