Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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