That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
