I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize