fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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