that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
