I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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