i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
