Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
