Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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