dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
