We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
