"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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