He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
