White coat. Heels.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
