at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
