omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
