2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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