Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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