oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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