I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
