Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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