That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
