Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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