I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
