Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
