I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
