My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
