she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize