I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
