yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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