Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
