watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
