any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
