dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
