trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
