Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
