My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I love you.
Bad choice
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
