Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize