worst night to have a conscience
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
