it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
