the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
