Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
