this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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