You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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